Week #12: Miami Dolphins (Joey's Revenge)

[racosun]

Dear Joey,

Welcome back! Here you come with your new team and a three-game winning streak. Nobody thought you'd be a starter so soon for Miami, but Culpepper turned out to be a dud. Yes, it's Turkey Day, but it must feel more like Christmas Eve for you. You'll have Matt Millen, the man who finally let you go, but not without throwing you under the team bus, sitting up in his cozy little box, watching you start yet another game at Ford Field in which the Lions are favored to lose. That's got to be a present you can't wait to rip into! Or how about Dre Bly staring at you from the secondary? Don't you just want to throw his way every play of the game? How fun would it be to chuck three touchdown balls over his head? Why, you'd have enjoyed more redemption than all the guys at Shawshank. Enjoy the game, Joey. Like every game you've started in Motown, I won't. But this time, I think you'll be on the winning team, while the rest of us are stuck with the Lions.

Signed,
Bob LaBlah, Lions fan

[racosun]

Here's a link to a Joey Harrington interview with the Detroit media (nice read):

http://www.mlive.com/lions/stories/index.ssf?/base/sports-1/116415780267030.xml&coll=1

[racosun]

If there was any bright spot to come from DT Shaun Rogers' four-game suspension, it was that he could have his naggin' knee scoped and he'd recover in time to be ready once the suspension was over. Now, the Lions coaches are saying Rogers is "overweight" and won't play tomorrow against the 'Phins. Wow, Rogers gained a few pounds waiting for that operation to heal! What a slacker! With the way the coaches have been stubborn about players being "overweight" (see Mike Williams), it's no wonder that the Lions have the worst record in the NFL and don't have any playmakers to help get a few wins. Is Shaun Rogers ineffective because of those extra pounds? I doubt it. He was already one of the more agile DT's in the league. He'd probably lose those extra pounds if he were able to play.

No, people, this is just another example of why we lose. Is Mike Williams as bad as the coaching staff is saying he is? NO. He may be a lazy practice player, but when he's on the field, he makes plays and draws attention from the defense. Some in the media are saying Williams career is over, and that he'll probably retire after he is cut by the Lions after the Super Bowl. I doubt that too. He's probably going to head to Green Bay or Minnesota so that he can come to Ford Field once a year and kill the Lions. This isn't Charles Rogers we're talking about here. BMW isn't sittting on the end of the bench rolling fatties. Now he's just biding his time, collecting his large paychecks, and waiting for revenge. I have a feeling he'll get it one day.

I guess the question (from me, at least) is: Are the Lions tanking the rest of the season to get that #1 overall draft pick? I think: Yes. But why? What good will that pick (or any pick) be for Detroit when we have a moron making the selection? It's almost guaranteed that we'll be selecting in the top-five, most likely in the top-two or three. That's another player coming to Motown with a huge paycheck and unrealisticly lofty expectations. Whoever we pick, they'll immediately become depressed and lazy, no matter how much money we end up throwing at them. Unless...the front-office gets a major overhaul.

When he came here, Matt Millen said this team needed playmakers, and that he was going to get us some via the draft and free-agency. Then, when he got a few, they were all told that they weren't playmakers, they were just another player and they'd have to earn their playmaker status in practice. Hmmmm. If that is the team philosophy, than why did Millen get a contract extension without first providing any positive results? In reality, this team is built on contradicitons and hippocrisy, and that is why the losing culture is deeply ingrained into the franchise. The first step to turn this around is to, of course, fire Millen. In a team full of losers and misfits and unearned egos, Millen is the poster-boy. The second step is to find a real GM with experience and smarts. Millen not only can't draft worth a lick, but he also can't manage a salary cap worth a damn. A team that loses as much as the Lions do shouldn't be in a bad-cap situation without first experiencing a good amount of success, like Tennessee or Tampa Bay. But we're dealing with a big cap hit from cutting Charles Rogers, trading Joey Harrington (for a sixth-round pick, you're welcome Miami), and the impending release of Mike Williams. We're also dealing with lousy contracts for players like Dre Bly and Eddie Drummond and Damian Woody.

This can go on and on and on, but if I keep going I'll probably have a heart attack. Until Millen is let go, this franchise will continue to be a laughingstock. Benching Shaun Rogers and Mike Williams is just another example of why things aren't working. Sure, Detroit is a great football city with great football fans. We deserve better. But how many of us still get excited when Sunday approaches? I bet not as many as the people that can't wait for spring training to arrive.

[racosun]

OUT
Lions - DT Shaun Rogers (knee)
Dolphins - S Travares Tillman (hand); DT Keith Traylor (knee); G Jeno James (knee); QB Daunte Culpepper (knee); RB Ricky Williams (suspension)

DOUBTFUL
Lions - DT Shaun Cody (toe)
Dolphins - none

QUESTIONABLE
Lions - WR Devale Ellis (shoulder); WR/KR Eddie Drummond (concussion); RB Kevin Jones (ankle); TE Sean McHugh (knee); G Blaine Saipaia (chest)
Dolphins - CB Will Allen (groin)

PROBABLE
Lions - none
Dolphins - DE David Bowens (ankle)

[racosun]

Is this a last-ditch attempt by Matt Millen to save his behind from being kicked to the curb? In an odd turn-of-events, disgruntled and dog-housed WR Mike Williams is supposedly going to play in the game tomorrow. How much is yet to be seen, but Coach Marinelli is giving the guy another chance. I guess it's kind of my job to interpret this situation, so I'll give it a go.

With a high-profile former player making his return to Detroit, and very possibly exacting some very sweet revenge, Millen doesn't want another high-profile draft pick still mired on the bench. With the large national television audience watching, he's going to try to snuff out a little of the "Fire Millen" rage with some smoke-and-mirrors:

Millen: "Look at Mike Williams everybody. He's finally good enough to play for the prestigious Lions!"
Marinelli: "Yes, he's finally discliplined enough to line up for us. But he'd better be careful, because we don't tolerate lazy and unproductive play around here!"

Will it work? No. Actually, it'll probably backfire. What if Williams goes out there and lays a real big stinker, and Joey rips us a new one? With Charles Rogers gone, and Kevin Jones hurt and still inconsistent, this is what Millen's legacy has come down to. Can we salvage this former top-ten pick, which will give us a three-for-seven ratio on top-ten draft picks during the Millen era? I guess it doesn't really matter, because the bottom line is that we stink and we'll lose as long as this fruitcake is running the team.

But the game just got a little more interesting. Enjoy, compliments of Matt Millen.

[racosun]

Okay, so it wasn't the six TD's I was hoping for (or that Roy Williams predicted he'd have), but Jumpin' Joey still killed us good. Things seemed a bit odd at first, with the Lions getting their first TD of the season on an opening drive, then adding a field goal to jump out to a 10-0 lead. The fans were behind their team, hoping for that elusive Turkey Day victory, but alas, things turned out normal. By the end, the Lions had gathered a whopping 21 yards on the ground, and the defense gave up 27 points to what was supposed to be a somewhat shakey Miami offense. As usual, they looked like the Colts in the playoffs. And the Lions looked like, well....the Lions.

Perhaps the best play of the day was when I decided to add extra gravy to my mashed potatoes, and saw there was still room for pumpkin pie. Good call. And Fire Millen.

[racosun]

Miami Dolphins 27, Detroit Lions 10
Passing:
Lions - Jon Kitna, 22-for-40, 252 yards, 1 TD, 1 pick
Dolphins - Joey Harrington, 19-for-29, 213 yards, 3 TD's, 1 pick

Rushing:
Lions - Arlen Harris, 8 carries, 15 yards, no TD's
Dolphins - Sammy Morris, 12 carries, 91 yards, no TD's, 1 fumble

Receiving:
Lions - Roy Williams, 6 catches, 126 yards; Dan Campbell, 2 catches, 6 yards, 1 TD
Dolphins - Marty Booker, 7 catches, 115 yards, 2 TD's

Kicking:
Lions - Jason Hanson, 1-for-1 FG's, 1-for-1 XP's
Dolphins - Olindo Mare, 2-for-2 FG's, 3-for-3 XP's